Bride-To-Be Spends $10,000 on Wedding Dress Without Consulting Fiancé, He Cancels Their Honeymoon in Response: ‘We can’t afford both'

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 13, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Planning a wedding might be one of the most important trials for couples. It gives a couple the opportunity to make sure they are compatible in ways that they never got to experience before. It allows both to see how the other reacts under pressure, what are their planning skills, how they set their priorities, and most importantly – how they handle financial responsibilities.

The couple in this Reddit story has a major problem with the latter trial – they found out that they handle their financials very differently, in a way that might change their whole relationship. OP (original poster) and his Fiancé have decided they are going to have a wedding on a small budget, at least that was their plan until the fiancé bought a $10k wedding dress without telling OP. As a response, OP decided to cancel their honeymoon trip without telling his fiancé. It seems like the couple has a lot to hash out before actually getting married…

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  • 01
    AITA for cancelling our honeymoon after my fiancee spent $10,000 on her wedding dress?
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 02
    My fiancée and I are planning to get married late this year. We had a small, rough budget for our wedding. It's a small wedding, only about 30 guests and hosted on a family friend's
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 03
    property. We've been making the decoration ourselves, doing online RSVPs, ordering our wedding cake from Costco. As a trade off my fiancée and I would be going on a very expensive honeymoon.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 04
    I left my fiancée to buy her wedding dress because I thought she would be mature enough to stay within our budget. I found out that she spent $10,000 on a dress she will wear once.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 05
    She argued that it was her dream wedding dress and she had compromised on having an ugly wedding for me. I had no idea she felt that way because she never expressed it. She says
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 06
    she can afford the dress. But we can't afford the dress. We don't even have a house yet. We can't afford both the dress and the honeymoon trip and I'm pretty sure the dress was custom made and can't be returned.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 07
    I immediately cancelled our honeymoon trip. It was booked through an agency and we had insurance so we only lost out on $250 each. If we had waited any longer, it would have been a lot more pricey to cancel.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 08
    When she found out I had cancelled the honeymoon, she got very angry. She said I had no right to cancel the honeymoon and if I didn't fix it she would go on the honeymoon alone.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 09
    The entire wedding party has weighed in and her friends are hammering me mercilessly about it. Even her dad is mad at me. My friends and family are on my side. AITA?
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 10
    Edit: Ordinarily I never would have made such a big decision like canceling our honeymoon without talking it over with my fiancée. But she was stonewalling about the dress
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 11
    and refused to discuss how we can't afford it. We cannot afford both the dress and the honeymoon. And we couldn't afford to wait. We put the honeymoon on a credit card. For points. We would have been able to afford it and still have a bit of savings left over to cushion us.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 12
    She spent $10k on the dress. That wiped out most of her savings account, leaving her with a few hundred dollars left. That's not enough to pay for the honeymoon too
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 13
    There's also additional costs that could crop up in the wedding. She will be living paycheck to paycheck regardless. But if we went on that honeymoon we'd have a credit card bill to worry about too.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 14
    stove1336 5 hr. ago Partassipant [3] Sounds like you need to postpone this wedding. She did this knowing you were going to be upset about it. You guys have stuff to work out.
    via u/stove1336
  • 15
    DigSpecialist5111 OP · 5 hr. ago We do have things to work out. We've been talking for hours but she's been stonewalling me about our future. Her defense is that we never agreed on a budget for the dress and she can afford it.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 16
    We're been counting our coins trying to make it an affordable wedding. Why would she think I'd be okay with a $10,000 custom wedding dress?
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 17
    KingSweezy94 · 5 hr. ago She never had any intention of sticking to a budget, she just didn't really care what your input was and assumed you'd roll over and show your belly I guess run. ΝΤΑ
    via u/KingSweezy94
  • 18
    FuzzyMom2005 · 5 hr. ago Commander in Cheeks [214] ESH, but I kinda have the feeling you're not going to have to worry about either the wedding or the honeymoon. You two are not on the same page about finances and are making unilateral decisions without talking to each other. That's not a good start, is it?
    via u/FuzzyMom2005
  • 19
    DigSpecialist5111 OP. 5 hr. ago I would have talked to her about cancelling the honeymoon but she stonewalled me about the dress and we literally cannot afford both. I had to cancel soon or we'd be out thousands
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 20
    infomofo · 5 hr. ago You'll be out waaay more than that in counseling and divorce lawyer fees. Consider this a lesson learned at a discount.
    via u/infomofo
  • 21
    Rayonjersey 5 hr. ago I have so many questions. Is it paid for with her separate money? Who paid for the dress? Who was paying for the honeymoon? Did you discuss a dress budget? How would she go on the honeymoon alone if it's cancelled? Is she going to use her own money to repurchase the honeymoon trip? If she can do that it sounds like you can afford both?
    via u/Rayonjersey
  • 22
    DigSpecialist5111 OP · 5 hr. ago · edited 4 hr. ago It was paid through her savings. We were splitting the honeymoon. We didn't explicitly discuss a dress budget but given we've been trying to make everything low cost and we definitely can't afford a $10k dress, I assumed she would be
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 23
    reasonable about it. She's never done anything wildly irresponsible like this I think she means to use her savings and paychecks to rebook the honeymoon or go on her own trip. I don't know if she will actually do this. What I know is that will leave her paycheck to paycheck regardless and with a big fat credit card bill if she goes on a honeymoon.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 24
    Kami_Sang · 5 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [23] OP maybe you guys should pause on the wedding. There is a significant dispute on finances - 10, 000 is a lot especially if you're trying to save money. ESH. You guys need to get on the same page re finances - clearly she's willing to spend much more than you. You really need to get aligned on finances.
    via u/Kami_Sang
  • 25
    DigSpecialist5111 OP · 5 hr. ago She's always been a careful spender and I never expected her to blow $10,000 on a dress.
    via u/DigSpecialist5111
  • 26
    Cultural_Card_2603.5 hr. ago Enthusiast [9] ESH. She bought an expensive wedding dress without informing you and without warning you cancelled the honeymoon. It sounds like you both make big decisions behind each other's backs.
    via u/Cultural_Card_2603

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